Domestic Violence: It
could be defined as any type or abuse or violence’s acts against
one (or more) members of the family core; it occurs when one person in the
relationship tries to dominate and maintain total control over you. The abuser
will use any kind of intimidation to keep you under his or her control, could
use: shame, guilt, hits, insults, or keep you away from the rest of your
family. Is important to remember that it is not a phenomenon only related to
low-social classes, it happens in every stratum
Causes:
There are factors that provide an explanation of this phenomenon, but
never a reason that justify it:
-Historical reason: Trough the History, societies have been controlled by
Men , generating a “Macho behavior”, which has its cause behind the
economical role of the man in the relationship, like the supplier.
-Our life’s style: Nowadays, violence is present in everywhere;
everything demands a competition among people, for get a job, to buy something,
even go to the subway; so, this model has taught to people that violence is the
better way to achieve your goals.
Types:
Most of the time,
people, think that physique violence is the only type, but is not. Following there
are the most common types:
-Physique abuse: The most
evident of all, it causes damages in the body of the abused, and it could end
in the dead of he/she.
-Sexual abuse: When
the abuser forces the abused to have sexual relations without the consent of
her/him.
-Monetary Abuse: Is
happens when the abuser is the economical supplier in the relation, and he/she
denies giving money to cover the necessities, like pay the bills. And, in that
way force the abused (which is not an economical role) to forgive all these l
abuse
-Psychological Abuse:
The less obvious, but one of the most harmful, which damages the self-esteem of
the abused, and leave deep scars.
Signs:
There are several
signs that have to make you alert of your relationship”. The most common in
fear of your partner . So, I invite you to answer the following questions to
know if you are in an abuse relationship:
Do you:
-feel afraid of your
partner much of the time?
-feel that you can’t
do anything right for your partner?
-feel emotionally
numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
-humiliate or yell at
you?
-ignore or put down
your opinions or accomplishments?
-see you as property
or a sex object, rather than as a person?
-have a bad and
unpredictable temper?
If most of the
answers are yes, you are probably in this kind of relationship, and you have to
pay attention of your partner’s behavior, especially if there are children
involved. And go to the organizations that help abused people.
Finally, we must to
pay attention to the following cycle, which shows the abuser’s behavior; and
which can be summarized in three basic stages:
Tension accumulation:
-The abuser’s
behavior turns aggressive against the partner , making usual to
throw and break things.
-The verbal and Psychological abuse increase, and
could culminate in physical damages.
-The abuse starts to
feel responsible for the abuse, feel guilty.
Acute episode of
violence:
-There is the needed
to vent the accumulate tensions
-The abuser chooses
the time, place and the way that he/she will use to concrete his/her abuse.
Episode of repentance
-It is characterized
by a period of calm, non-violent and tokens of love and affection
-The abuser gives to
the abused the hope of a change in his/her personality , make the promise of
seek help
After
a while, the cycle starts again
Sources:
